Tuesday, August 2, 2011

On becoming 80

I have news for you.  Life begins at 80.  The first 80 years are the hardest.  After 80, life is a picnic.  Everybody wants to help you carry your baggage and help you down the steps.  If you forget a person’s name, an appointment or a promise to be two places at the same time, you only have to explain that you are 80.  If you spill your soup on your shirt, or your shoes don’t match, it’s all because  you’re 80.  At 80 you can relax with no misgivings.  You have a perfect alibi for everything,  nobody expects much of you.  If you act silly, it’s your second childhood.  Everybody is looking for signs of softening of the brain.

It’s a good deal better than 65 or 70.  At that time, they expect you to retire to a mobile home in Florida and become a disgruntled, grumbling “has been.”  But if you survive till 80, everybody is surprised that you can walk without a cane, you can talk above a whisper, and you show lucid moments.  At 70, people are mad at you for everything.  At 80, they’ll forgive anything,

If you ask me, life begins at 80.  You’ve got it made!

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